learning2deal (learning2deal) wrote in script_doctor,

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The first scene of Paradox After Dark

Okay, this is the first scene. Comments would be appreciated, but be kind please.

Paradox After Dark

Act One

Scene 1: A garage, there is a desk and a work bench SR. Various tools and car parts are scattered about. Loud music (Deep Purple or Black Sabbath perhaps?) is playing. Eddie Stevens, a large burly man with a mustache wearing overalls and carrying a toolbox, walks in. He sets down his toolbox on the bench and sits down at his desk.

Eddie: Savage! Turn the music down! SAVAGE!!!!

The music stops and Nick Savage, a young man wearing an undershirt, jeans, and big black boots walks through the swinging door UL.

Nick: Alright alright! Geez, you sure are a buzz kill. What'd Georgia say?

Eddie: (sighs) Nothin'... she didn't say nothin'...

Nick: Well, what're ya gonna do?

Eddie: I don't know Nick, why don't you get off my case?

Nick: Fine, I'll be in the back. (he exits)

(Eddie shakes his head and pours himself a cup of coffee. Catherine Johnson walks in from OL. She is wearing a short skirt and tank top. She has no shoes on and her hair is messy.)

Catherine: Hello? Can somebody help me?

Eddie: Sure, what can we do for you?

Catherine: My car broke down. Can you fix it?

Eddie: Let me get someone. NICK!!!

(Nick runs in through the swinging door. He stops in his tracks when he sees Catherine.)

Nick: Yeah, what's up?

Eddie: Go help this young lady push her car into the shop.

Nick: You got it, boss.

(Nick follows Catherine OL. Eddie goes back to his coffee. He takes out a newspaper and begins to read. There is some movement behind the swinging door. The left door partially opens, the audience cannot see who is behind the door but Eddie can. He looks up from his paper.)

Eddie: What are you doing here? (pause) I told you never to show your face around here again! Get the fuck out! (Eddie reaches for the phone. As he does, we hear a shot, Eddie falls dead on the floor.)

End Scene
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